Yorkshire Bandit Forum(not just for bandits)

Blonde Moment????/

Becky — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 12:28:27 GMT

~POSSIBLY THE BEST BLONDE JOKE EVER~

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some

rectum deodorant.

The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that,

they don't sell rectum deodorant and never have.

Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been

buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like

some more.

'I'm sorry,' says the pharmacist, 'We don't have any.'

'But, I always buy it here,' says ...

FOOTREST LIFTER PLATES

Tigger — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 00:19:10 GMT

Anybody used them?

Ideal for virtically challenged people like me.

Any good? Easy to fit?

Help please?

Don't intend wasting �43 if they are crap.

Cheers

Tigger

Metallica - Fuel

slacker1982 — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 23:28:12 GMT

guns and roses

stavros — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 21:13:48 GMT

silver machine

stavros — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 20:52:42 GMT

vocals by motorheads LEMMY

Gear Changing

GSF BANDIT — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 12:44:21 GMT

Need advice

Just got hold of some Oxtar boots with torsion control which makes them a bit stiff, and im finding it hard to change up gears. Is there anyway of altering gear lever so i can get my foot under the lever easyer?. Any body else had this problem.

Cheers GSF aka Johnny

teen spirit

stavros — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 20:27:28 GMT

London Trader

delboy — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 17:29:08 GMT

This is worse than divorce' he wailed.

'I've lots half my wealth in an instant - but I've still got the wife'

radio competition

stavros — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 13:42:11 GMT

an irish radio station was running a competition- words that wer'nt in the dictionary, yet could still be used in a sentence and make logical sense. the prize was a trip to BALI.

dj "96fm here, whats your name"

caller "hi, my names dave"

dj "hi dave whats your word"

caller "my word is GOAN, ...spelt g-o-a-n...pronounced go-an.

dj "you are correct dave. goan is not in the dictionary. now for the trip to bali, what is your sentence containing the ...

Blur - Song 2

Breezy — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 12:45:24 GMT

Gorillaz 19-2000 (Soulchild Remix)

Breezy — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 12:41:59 GMT

Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood

Breezy — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 12:41:03 GMT

Daft Punk - Aerodynamic

Breezy — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 12:39:18 GMT

Daft Punk - Around The World

Breezy — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 12:37:28 GMT

Gwen Stefani - What You Waiting For?

Breezy — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 12:35:46 GMT

No Doubt - Don't Speak

Breezy — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 12:30:48 GMT

The Cardigans - My Favourite Game [Uncensored]

Breezy — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 12:24:51 GMT

Cam link

slacker1982 — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 22:51:51 GMT

I was thinking of fitting a cam link to my bandit to help oil flow etc.

Was just wondering if:-

1, Is it worth doing, and do they actually inpove oil flow and cooling?

2, If it is worth doing how easy are they to fit properly?

Any advice, info or suggestions would be very much appreciated. Thanks.

A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION

slacker1982 — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:02:22 GMT

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making

love to a very attractive young woman and was somewhat upset.

'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried.

'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you.

I want a divorce straight away!'

And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love, so at least I

can tell you what happened.

'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed, 'but they'll be the last words you'll say

to me!'

And ...

friday 10th Oct

morfius — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 20:03:11 GMT

weather permitting going out on Friday, possibly over to devils bridge then upto penrith and hartside moor

everyone welcome to come

times to TBA

Fly..............For my girl.

morphius — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 13:38:14 GMT

The Poop

morphius — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:49:36 GMT

A classic:Work Poop

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

*CROP DUSTING* When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff, but doesn't know where it came ...

airfilter

stringghost — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 20:45:04 GMT

going to give me bike a service soon thinking of upgrading the airfilter, question is if i change it is it as simple as a straight swop or will the bike need to be set up on a machine.

thanking you

Disturbed - Indesructible

morfius — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 21:00:35 GMT

Ali-G and shaggy

Billy Bandit — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 22:26:53 GMT

vicar

delboy — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 22:23:46 GMT

There was this priest who booked into a hotel.

He says to the hotel clerk, "I DO hope that the porn channel is disabled"

.

.

.

.

The clerk replies, "No you sicko, we just have the regular porn channel here".

Evanescence - Going Under

morfius — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 20:54:27 GMT

Linkin Park - Numb

morfius — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 20:42:44 GMT

The Hustle.....( cant remember it myself ).

morphius — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 20:27:44 GMT

3 Bikers..

Becky — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 18:44:55 GMT

Three Bikers, a Honda Rider, a BMW Rider and a Royal Enfield Rider were sitting in a sauna. Suddenly, there was a continuing beeping sound.

The Honda Rider pressed his forearm and the beeping stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. �That was my pager, �he said, �I have a micro chip under the skin of my arm.�

A few minutes later a phone rang.

The BMW Rider lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, �That was my mobile phone. I have a micro chip in my hand.�

The ...

Suicide Girl

delboy — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 14:12:19 GMT

A young blonde Aberdonian girl, down on her luck, decided to end it all one

night by casting herself into the cold, dark waters off Aberdeen docks.

As she stood on the edge, pondering the infinite, a young sailor noticed

her as he strolled by. 'You're not thinking of jumping, are you babes?' he asked.

'Yes, I am.' replied the sobbing girl.

Putting his arm around her, the kind sailor coaxed her back from the

edge 'Look, nothing's worth that. I'll tell you ...

DADDYS LITTLE GIRL

delboy — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 14:42:25 GMT

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.

He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.

Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.

He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention.

He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

'Daddy, what are those ...

Ultrabeat - Pretty Green Eyes

Breezy — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 12:00:57 GMT

Sassy Vid!

MMMMMM

Jeff Buckley - Grace

Merlin — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 18:59:45 GMT

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=siNsgbIWhAQ

fantastic voice and guitar player!

5 part management course

delboy — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 20:37:04 GMT

5 minute management course

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing

up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob , the next-door

neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop

that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and

stands naked in front of Bob , after a few ...

right or wrong?

stavros — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 17:43:17 GMT

boz scaggs

stavros — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 17:38:23 GMT

1250 G.T. Tickover

morphius — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 20:34:57 GMT

Just picked the bike up today, tickover is running a tad high, anyone know how to lower it, i cant see no obvious screw or anything

A SHORT STORY

delboy — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 12:34:38 GMT

A Short Love Story

A man and a woman who had never met before, and were both married to

other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a

Trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly.....

He in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying :

'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but ...

Alphabeat - Fascination

Breezy — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 11:56:10 GMT

Love this song,

Well catchy!

english, irish, scottish

stavros — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 21:47:21 GMT

an englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walk into a pub.

the landlord says "is this some sort of joke"?

chariots of fire

stavros — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 21:54:23 GMT

E.L.P.

stavros — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 21:30:45 GMT

Poor Bloke!!

Becky — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 18:43:07 GMT

A man escapes from prison where he has been locked up for 15 years. Realising he can't survive on the run for long without money, food or suitable clothing, he decides to break into a nearby house. Sneaking around but finding nothing downstairs, he boldly decides to venture upstairs to see if he can find anything of use to him and stumbles across a young couple in bed.....

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed. He gets on top of her, kisses ...

Wheel Tape

GSF BANDIT — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 21:05:58 GMT

Attempted to put fluorescent wheel tape on for the first time ive made aright Boll***s of it

Leaving it for now but anybody got any tips for next time?

One For Morfius..

Becky — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 22:46:03 GMT

BANKS...............

Lynne — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 12:48:17 GMT

Following the problems with Lehmann Bros and in the sub-prime lending

market in America and the run on Northern Rock, HBOS and Bradford &

Bingley in the UK , uncertainty has now hit Japan.

In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up

and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.

Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will

likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended

after they nose-dived. ...

bad to the bone

stavros — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 22:59:33 GMT

White settlers diary

delboy — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 20:33:40 GMT

THE DIARY OF AN ENGLISHMAN (White Settler)

LIVING IN THE HIGHLANDS -

'OUR FIRST WINTER '

DEC 20TH It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the

first we've seen for years. The wife and I took out our hot toddies and

sat on the porch watching the fluffy soft flakes drift gently down

clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It's so beautiful and

peaceful.

DEC 24th We awoke to a lovely ...

Big phil

Billy Bandit — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 18:47:57 GMT